Title: The Choice – Part 7c
Author: Xanfan
Rating: Mature
Pairing: various, including M/M Slash
Summary: Response to challenge found here http://beyondcanon.brain-insane.com/challenges.php?chalid=38. The Scoobies discover that Buffy’s resurrection has allowed the First to gain a foothold in this world. Xander is told that the balance must be restored, and the only way to do that is for a Slayer to die. Who does he choose? Buffy or Faith?
Spoilers: Up to season 7 of Buffy and 4 of Angel. Cordy never comes back from being a higher being, so, no beast master.
Warnings: SLASH, CHARACTER DEATH
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
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Fred looked at the envelope in her hand. After Lorne had told them about what Xander had done for Faith and the world to stop The First, he handed them each a letter and they had all gone to their rooms to read their letters and recover from the news.
Fred thought about the young man who had become such an important part of all their lives. She knew he considered her to be one of ‘his girls’ and she was surprised at how… safe that had made her feel.
Sure, being around Angel with his super strength, and Wesley with his super brain, and Gunn with his street smarts and fighting skill all made her feel safe. But there was something about having Xander consider you one of his that made you know for sure that he was gonna do everything in his power to make sure you were alright.
He had proved that time and again. She had heard the stories, but it really hit home when he had thrown himself between her and a demon in a fight and yelled at Angel for not protecting her properly. He had used his body like a shield and chastised his own lover for not keeping her safe. And it hadn’t felt like a “protecting the little woman” kinda thing. It had been a “she has no super powers and you do, so act like it” kinda thing.
Xander had never made her feel like less because of being a woman, having no super powers, or her timidness after Pylea. His protectiveness wasn’t about him being more powerful: he treated Fred the same way as he treated Buffy. It was just about a guy with a caretaker personality doing what he did best, caring for those he loved.
Fred opened her envelope and pulled out her letter: the last words her hero had ever had for her.
Dear Fred,
Hey sweetie. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you what I was gonna do. I could make excuses like ‘for the greater good’ and crap like that, but the truth is I was afraid you would try and talk me out of it, and you are a woman who could talk anyone into or out of anything. You’re just that good.
I couldn’t afford to be talked out of this, none of us could afford for me to be talked out of this. And I know you can’t really have expected me to make a different choice.
I know I don’t even have to explain myself, I’m sure you’ve already figured out the why and the how.
I love you, I hope you know that. At first you reminded me of My Willow, the way she used to be, but it wasn’t long before you became completely your own person to me. There is no one quite like you out there and I’m not surprised that you have two (at least) of the strongest men I know falling at your feet.
Yeah, I went there. They both love you, don’t doubt that. Also know that they both want you to be happy. So, love whoever you want to love and they’ll deal with it.
Remember that you’re the girl who survived for five years on her own in Pylea. You’re smart enough to figure out any problem that heads your way. You’re also a kickass chick and don’t you forget it. But you’re not in Pylea anymore and you don’t have to be alone anymore.
You’re one my girls. My death won’t stop that. You’ll always be one of my girls.
Take care of the guys. They are gonna need your strength and your gentleness.
Faith may not be in a girl’s body anymore, but she is still a girl at heart, so try and help her through that.
Love,
Xander
P.S.
Look after Angel for me. He needs someone to keep him in line and keep him from being too broody. Be the friend that you have always been to him and you’ll both be fine, eventually.
Fred re-folded her letter and tucked it into the journal she kept in her bedside table. She didn’t even try to wipe away the copious amount of tears that were streaming down her face. She wore them like a badge of honor.
She wasn’t surprised by the knock on her door and opened the door to let Gunn enter. She took him in her arms and let him pretend that he was the only one offering comfort while they held each other and grieved for their friend.